A Tribute to Queen

Did you know that the songs "Bicycle Race" and "Fat-Bottomed Girls" by Queen are the A and B sides of the same 7" vinyl record (Google it, young 'uns who don't know life before MP3) released in 1978, the year I graduated from high school? Coincidence? I think not. I LOVE to ride my bicycle, I love to ride my bike, and fat-bottomed girls, they make the rockin' world go round! Talk about cosmic destiny.

This knowledge makes me that much more excited to be back on a REAL bicycle (the stationery bike at the gym doesn't count). I took it for a spin around the block and it is nothing short of awesome! Oh, the places I'll go! I felt like I was twelve again, except it was painfully obvious to me that I might be creating a safety hazard because my fat bottom has a tendency to block the view of those coming up behind me. I have too much pride to wear a "wide load" sign on my back, although I probably should take some measurements and make sure there isn't a federal mandate that requires me to do so. At the very least, I should wear yellow so people will at least yield. Fortunately, this bike is more of a cruiser and does not require me to bend over the handlebars quite as much. Those bikes force a "moon" of eclipse proportions. And we all know crack kills.

My husband was thoughtful enough to put lights on the front and back so that I could give fair warning when I ride at night when it is much cooler in this fiery desert. Today I was reading outside in the sunshine when my iPad overheated. Seriously. It sent me a warning message to turn it off until it cooled down. This is a first-generation iPad, not the new ones that are known to do that sort of thing with normal use. My "book" was too hot to handle and there aren't any nasty parts in this book (yet, anyway...a girl can hope...). So as much as I would love to ride my bike to work, it's too dang hot to ride it home. Nighttime it is.

I'm excited to get moving again. My knee was really giving me grief and making it impossible to walk or move much, but I was able to get a cortisone shot that has helped immensely. I did discuss moving up my knee-replacement surgery with my ortho. The thought of being the cart lady at Walmart is much less appealing in my early 50's than it would be in my late 60's. And like I told him, I really don't want to limp around for ten or fifteen years and then get hit by a bus. Besides, medical science is improving with technology so quickly that I'm banking on the hope that some bright person will soon invent knee parts that don't wear out. My ortho is willing to do the surgery any time I want (his college-aged kids could use the money) but we agreed that a 100 pound weight loss would make the surgery that much more successful. I can lose 100 pounds in a month, can't I?

So while this fat-bottomed girl won't be entering any bicycle races anytime soon, I will be listening to Queen for inspiration because, after all, they are from England and I am the Princess of Whales. We're practically related. Coincidence? I think not.