Break Into Spring

I don't know if anyone has noticed or not, but I haven't blogged for several weeks. Originally that was due to an incredibly hectic schedule between my two jobs, and then a quick trip over spring break. After that it was a panic attack over my successful weight loss, but that's an entirely different blog post. Let me start with spring break...

From a food and health standpoint, spring break was a smashing success, despite some early disappointment and some stressful incidents largely unique to the non-rev style of travel.

Our original plan was to fly to Sydney, Australia and hope for first class so that we could experience the new pods in the Airbus planes. Non-revvers don't always make their planned flights, but sometimes when they do, and especially on international flights, they get to do it first class. Don't hate. It's the payoff for accepting a lower hourly rate than the competitive market. And if it makes you feel better, the Australia plans fell through due to high tax rates on the flights and incredibly overpriced hotels in Sydney. We deemed it too expensive for a four day trip, with two of those days spent in the air, with only a very slim possibility that we would see either a kangaroo or a koala bear. And what's the point of going to Australia if you can't see either of those?! Besides, the exchange rate is bleak, to say the least, so we decided to travel within the United States, land that we love.

At this point, our flight selection was based solely on our options on direct flights out of SLC. Connecting hubs were booked to the max and so that pretty much ruled out anything tropical. In the end we decided on Baltimore as a central location for visits to Philadelphia, Gettysburg, and Washington DC. God Bless America.

Flying out of SGU I experienced the best news of the day - despite requesting my seat belt extender (as usual), I found that I didn't need one! Oh, the joy! I didn't breathe for 48 minutes, but I did it! It was a proud moment when I handed the extender back to the flight attendant, informing her I didn't need it, as if she could see that I was far too slim to even have asked for one in the first place and she had given me one just to humor me. People, that was a moment!!!

That moment was short-lived, however, as we raced to make our connection to Baltimore. As usually happens when you have a tight connection, our SGU plane landed at the very last gate in the "E" gates and our Baltimore gate was the very last gate in the "C" gates. We raced as quickly as we could with my gimpy knee and I plopped down, sweaty and exhausted, to wait for boarding, only to see the tiny little hand-written note that said the Baltimore flight was delayed for two-and-a-half hours and would put us into Baltimore at 1:40 a.m. I remembered there was a Philadelphia flight scheduled close to the same time as the Baltimore flight so we then raced from that very end gate in "C" up and over to the very last gate (of course) in the "D" gates.

I wanted to give up and stop to rest several times, but my adrenalin was still pumping from the whole seat belt extender experience and we got to the Philly gate just in time to walk on the plane. I immediately got on the phone to change our hotel and car plans since we were now going to a different destination (all the time feeling really bad that I would not get to sing "Good Morning, Baltimore" when I woke up the next day). I got it all changed and then settled into my seat, so glad that I didn't need to ask for an extender because the "big planes" usually have longer seat belts.

Usually.

My bubble of excitement blew up and deflated when despite my best squirming, adjusting, and inhaling, I had to ask for an extender. Crap. I had just run the equivalent of an ultra-airport-marathon and should have lost an additional fifty pounds since landing and I was STILL too big for the seat belt. I humbly asked for an extender, and despite wanting to eat my way through the flight, I just strapped myself in and went to sleep.

The disadvantage of changing your hotel plans over the phone while sitting on a plane is that you don't have any control over the quality of the hotel you are being changed to, so we woke in the morning to the ghetto that is the neighborhood surround the PHL airport. We quickly showered and headed out for a day of historical adventures. Having been born on July 2, I have an almost unnatural devotion to my country. I have long wanted to see the Liberty Bell and the Pennsylvania State House (the correct name for Independence Hall, as we learned from paying close attention to our tour guide whose voice was a dead ringer for Chris Farley when he was living in a van down by the river). I punched in "Liberty Bell" on my smart phone GPS and through the miracle of satellites, the phone took us straight there. Specifically, it took us to the street named "Liberty Bell" on which is a convenient shopping center. After slapping myself for being so stupid, we recognized it as divine intervention and stopped by the Walmart for refreshing beverages. We then turned around and backtracked for over twenty minutes until we reached the "real" Liberty Bell.

Philadelphia, like Boston and many other historical east coast cities, is a walking city and my legs aren't made for walking, so we looked into a Segway tour. Segway tours are all the rage in tourist towns and look to be a great way for my bad knee to conquer the streets. Until you read the small print and I exceed the weight limit. Really?! *&#^&$* I can understand not wanting me to kill a mule by riding on its back down steep cliffs to the old leper colony in Hawaii, but a sturdy piece of machinery? That's just wrong.

So, I survived downtown Philly on my own two, fat, legs after which we headed for the classic of Philly foods, the Philly Cheesesteak. After seeking the opinions of several locals, and getting several different answers, we headed to the original - Pat's. Winding through the narrow streets took us through the Italian/Asian outdoor market and a look into a life completely different than ours. It also took us through several detours as we happened to be there on the same day as the St. Patrick's Day parade and this is truly a city that takes its Irish celebrations seriously.

This was my experience with the Philly Cheesesteak:

Yeah, I dumped it all down the front of me and ended up throwing away the shirt because it smelled so nasty. It was a favorite shirt because it actually covered my gut, and the cheesesteak was just not that good. But as you can see, the weather was beautiful for the outdoor fine dining. (On a health note, I refrained from getting fries or other greasy accessories.)

The next most important place for me to see was the Rocky statue located at the bottom of the stairs of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the stairs  Rocky (aka Sylvester Stallone) ran up when training for his fight with Apollo Creed. Don't judge me, but I had a major crush on Sly when I was 16 and the movie first came out. I still dream of my husband battling it out in the ring and then calling out my name, even though it's not Adrian. My wonderful smart phone GPS led us astray once again, but the bigger problem was battling the St. Paddy's traffic and diversions. We finally found a place to park behind the museum that was available for the bargain price of $30.00. I want to say Sly was worth it, but I'm still debating.

This is me after gimping up the stairs (my husband did run them) and nearly dying (and yes, I had changed into a clean shirt in the car without flashing anyone...hopefully). As you can see, there was a big VanGogh exhibit at the museum but no, we were there to see Rocky. I'm sure the museum people are mortified by rednecks like us, but we paid their $30 parking fee so they can eat it.

Surprisingly, there are so many other stories about our day in Philly I haven't shared, but I'll just say that after spending almost $80 in parking fees and toll charges, I was done with big cities and all plans to go to DC went out the window. Instead, we spent two days in Gettysburg (again, too large for the Segway tour) and then headed to Hershey, PA for an afternoon of chocolate (in limited quantities) and a kiss with NO calories:

Cheesy & staged...perhaps. But still non-fattening. We got to design and make our own candy bars, attend Hershey U, and tour the city of kiss-shaped street lamps in the trolley. I miss my kids when doing things like this, but I have to admit it was nice being able to do everything because we didn't have to pay for seven people to do it.

That night we slept in a steamboat-shaped hotel (ah, the Americana experience) in Lancaster, PA, home of the Pennsylvania Dutch Amish, and saw many buggies and scooters navigating the intersections right along with our motorized contraptions. The next morning we had an Amish breakfast in Intercourse (insert your own joke here) and did a little shopping in the quaint downtown area. I'm pretty sure scrapple (fried pork parts) aren't on any "diets" but I did have a bite of my husband's to taste the local flavor. Not bad. Better than cheesesteak, for sure. The weather could not have been more perfect as we drove through the countryside (you know you're old when driving through the countryside is a major trip highlight) and watched as the Amish boys plowed the fields with horses. My husband was ready to move there right then, but we drove on to Valley Forge and then back to the ghetto of PHL so we could catch our early flight.

I'm quite proud of myself for handling the food options and snack challenges with maturity and thoughtfulness and was rewarded when I weighed in and had not gained a single pound. Walking through some of America's most historical sights filled me up enough with the pride I have in my country so that I didn't feel the need to do it with chocolate. That moment when we paid $23 at the toll gate because we didn't know how it worked nearly drove me to a Dunkin' Donuts, but in the end I said no, despite my thoughtful husband's offer.

I still had to use seat belt extenders on the way home, but I found new inspiration for eating healthy and working out - the promise of many Segway tours in the future (and that mule ride in Hawaii I still dream about).